Identity Strike
by TigreMalabarista
Summary: The suit and lightning cause an unusual scenario for Bill and Ralph. Meanwhile, Pam faces a dangerous scenario herself when she's involved in a drug ring case.
1. Chapter 1

The suit and lightning cause an unusual scenario for Bill and Ralph. Meanwhile, Pam faces a dangerous scenario herself when she's involved in a drug ring case.

Notes: Rating T, When Bill and Ralph's names are in quotations, it is the way that others view them. Without quotes, they are speaking as their normal characters. Sardonyx and Chrysoprase are actually names of gemstones. Set between "Vanity, Says the Preacher," and "Greatest American Heroine" Dedicated to HD and stanford9, who helped me with the fine details, errors in the story.

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It was one of those days you wanted to just stay at home and turn off the rest of the world, Ralph thought as he woke up that Saturday. Outside, it was raining, and he could hear the branches scratch the back window as the winds picked up. Although it was 8:45 a.m., it looked like it was closer to 7.

Ralph turned over onto his back and started to shade his eyes, only to hear the telephone ring. "Great, who's bothering me at this time of the morning on a Saturday," Ralph thought out loud. "Don't these people know that Saturdays are the days that teachers crave the most besides summer?" He got up and proceeded to pick up the phone.

"Hello?" Ralph asked, yawning afterward.

"Ralph, you all right," said the voice on the other line.

"Bill, what are you doing calling me at this time in the morning on a Saturday," Ralph groaned. "You know what I said would happen if you called me out for no reason today. I'm taking Pam out for a romantic evening for her birthday, and since I hope it'll be a long night, I thought I'd get some beauty sleep. I don't want to fall asleep in my spaghetti at dinner."

"Well, I have a great scenario for the jammies that you need to try. You can get some while we head out to the desert," said Bill in a cheery voice. "I'm about to your house now, so go get cleaned up and put on the jammies and I'll see you in about 10-15 minutes."

"But. …" Ralph started but realized Bill had hung up the phone. He put the receiver back on its hook. "Did I agree, no. Well, since he insists we go out on a scenario of sorts in this weather, I'd better find some sort of trade off to make it worth my while. Maybe he'll buy lunch." He went to the bathroom and started getting ready.

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Pam was spending that particular Saturday at the law office. She was putting the finishing touches on her court case and was scheduled to speak with her client over lunch. They originally were going to meet in the law office, but after the witness had a panic attack just entering the building, wanted to make him as comfortable as possible. But after being assured that there were going to be undercover police officers and federal agents there, they agreed to meet them there.

The case was one of the biggest ones her firm had taken, and they felt confident that Pam would help bring the drug ring leader to justice.

Michael Sardonyx the head of the drug ring, was originally a pharmacist and later went on to get a medical degree. Unfortunately, after losing a malpractice case, which was his own fault, he decided to turn to a life of crime.

He created a new designer drug, nicknamed sapphire comets. The drug was so addictive and powerful, that if it didn't addict them people could slip into a coma and die from just a small taste. The police were able to catch him only because his last, though inadvertent, victim survived his trip and wanted to put Sardonyx in prison for life.

Pam looked over the files one more time and heard the phone ring. She picked it up. "Hello, Pam? Happy birthday honey," said Ralph.

"Hi hun, how are you feeling," said Pam. "Did you get a good night's sleep?"

"Not really. It was raining cats and dogs this morning, and Bill just called wanting to work out some sort of new scenario with the suit," said Ralph. "He hung up before I could say no, so I figured I'd better get up and get ready."

"Does he know that you and I are going to have a romantic evening for my birthday," asked Pam with a slightly sultry voice. She knew that would always get him and was pleasantly surprised with Ralph's chuckle.

"Yeah, I told him, and if he tries to do more than a typical suit scenario, I'll pick him up and fly him to Siberia," Ralph said with mock menace. After hearing Pam gasp, he chuckled and said, "Just kidding honey, but I'll remind him if it takes too long. After all, I planned on taking you to your favorite restaurant. Anyway, looks like he's here, so I'd better go. Talk to you later, love you," said Ralph.

"Love you to, be careful. 'Bye," said Pam as she hung up the phone. Looking at her watch, she realized she had about 15 minutes before she was to talk to her fellow junior partners about the case. She gathered her papers together and puts them into her briefcase, and heads toward the boardroom.

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As they traveled toward the desert, Ralph was listening to Bill's idea for one potential suit power. Though Bill said Ralph could sleep, he had done nothing except keep Ralph awake go over the same scenario again. This new scenario was spurred from a recent success Ralph had with the suit. Ever since Ralph was able to fine tune the pyrokenesis power and actually start fires in front of him instead of behind him, Bill was interested to see if Ralph could create electrical bolts using the suit.

Ralph, however, wasn't too keen on trying something that nearly got him killed once before, when the slime monster charged him with electricity and he turned into a electromagnet. He had heard Bill go over the details of the "research" he did for this when he decided enough was enough.

"Bill, please stop talking about this new scenario and let me at least get some sleep," said Ralph groused. "I had a very late night last night to begin with, and you waking me up early is not helping my mood. I'm bushed."

"Come on kid, why'd you stay up so late? Have a long night playing Risk with the Counselor again?" said Bill.

"You could say that," said Ralph almost to himself. Bill didn't miss the grumble in the other's voice.

"Sure you're OK pal? I mean, you didn't decide to take a header into a billboard again," Bill chuckled.

"No Bill, I didn't, all right? Haven't since my first flight. I'm just tired," the other growled.

"Gee, kid didn't mean any harm, it was just a joke," said Bill.

"Joke, Bill, the only thing right now I consider a joke is being out in the middle of the desert after a thunderstorm to try another suit power.

I'd much rather be sleeping."

"Come on kid, I said you could sleep all the way to the desert," said Bill.

"Yeah, and what have I done? I've listened to your research for this new idea. You know, you don't know what it's like to have to wear the jammies all the time and have to try your brilliant experiments. Most of the time, your studies and ideas go the way of the dodo bird."

"Well, I mean, they work on paper. …" Bill stammered.

"Yeah maybe so, but I'm the Guinea pig, and a lot of times I feel more like a crash test dummy. I mean, I just wish that you would see my side of the suit scenario too. Sorry, Bill, but right now, I'd much rather be at home in my nice warm bed instead of the dry and windy desert."

Bill was quiet as he listened to Ralph complain. He was right, Bill thought, I don't know, seems I won't either since the suit only works on him. He looked at the horizon and found out he was at the location he scouted out. It was an area that no planes flew in, so he knew no one would accidentally run into Ralph when they practiced flying again.

Bill stopped the car and both he and Ralph got out of the car. Ralph stripped down to the suit as Bill proceeded to go through the steps again. "OK, Ralph, what I found out was that since static electricity was generated by friction, you could maybe run across the rough desert and let the suit store up the electricity. Now, while you're running, concentrate on the suit collecting the energy. It seemed to work with the pyro technique so my guess is that it'll work with electricity."

Ralph nodded, though inwardly he was dreading the possibility of being a walking Van de Graff generator. "All right, Bill, I'll start running, but I don't think it'll work. Just in case, be sure you have something I can shock when I get back. If by some miracle this idea of yours works, I don't want to try it out on you. Don't know what'd it do to you," he said.

Bill smiled with a slight smirk on his face. "Oh, I'll be fine, and besides, couldn't be worse than when you drop me when you crash flying," he said.

Ralph was about to protest, but realized he didn't know how Bill felt about being carried in flight, and though he always wondered what it felt like, he didn't speak. Instead he turned to face the open desert and began to run. As he did, he concentrated on storing electricity. It seemed to be working, as he felt as though he was becoming electrified, and the hair on his arms seemed to stand up.

As he was running, he tripped on a stray rock and took flight, screaming as he started to sail upward. "No kid, come down from there," Bill hollered into the communicator, though Ralph probably wasn't listening to him.

Ralph continued to flying haphazardly into the skies, and felt as though the skies seemed to be electrified on their own. No sooner did he reach the sky he felt as though he was hit by a bolt of lightning. He lost what little balance he had and tumbled to the ground.

Bill continued watching Ralph in his impromptu flight into the skies when he saw the sudden bolt out of the blue. He watched in horror as Ralph was hit by it and fell from the skies to the ground. "Ralph," Bill shouted and got into his car, driving to where Ralph fell. He was praying that Ralph hadn't hit his head again, or worse. He had enough fun trying to lie to the doctors when Ralph crashed into the train that one time.

When he arrived at the scene, Ralph was sitting up and shaking the sand out of his hair. Ralph seemed dazed, but otherwise all right.

"Ralph, kid, you OK?" Bill asked. "Looks like you took a pretty nasty knock from the lightning bolt."

"Yeah, Bill, but what was that? I mean there are few clouds in the sky," he said.

"I know, that was too weird, I thought you had blown up," said Bill putting a hand on Ralph's shoulder, "And when you fell from the sky, I thought you might have been killed."

"Well, I'm still here, partner, just wish sometimes you knew exactly how I feel wearing the suit," said Ralph with a soft smile, reaching for Bill's shoulder and started to get up. "And I'm all right, but. …"

As Ralph grabbed Bill's shoulder to help each other up, there was a weird grayish purple glow that enveloped both of them. They looked at each other in confusion just before they felt a powerful surge of energy go through both of them. Ralph and Bill barely heard a roaring sound in their ears before they each fell backwards to the ground, unconscious.


	2. Chapter 2

Ralph opened his eyes, wincing at the bright light, and tried to figure out what was going on. He remembered talking to Bill and trying to figure out something, but couldn't remember exactly what. He rubbed his eyes and slowly sat up, ignoring the small bout of dizziness he encountered. "Man, what did I get myself into?" Ralph thought muzzily. "Couldn't have been kidnapped, because I'm in the desert and Bill's car is here. Must have been knocked out, and Bill's waiting for the ambulance, but for how long? Whatever happended must have been something strong since I was wearing the jammies and my head doesn't hurt."

As he looked down at his watch, Ralph's foggy mind snapped into focus as he realized something was wrong. It wasn't his hands he was looking at, they were Bill's. "What. … Oh no," Ralph said as he got up and staggered toward the car to look into the rearview mirror. Instead of seeing his normal blue eyes and curly blonde hair, he was looking at Bill's hazel eyes and graying hair. He pinched himself just to be sure and gave a small yelp, realizing that this wasn't a dream. His memories came rushing back and he remembered everything except switching places.

Ralph turned and looked back to where he woke up. He saw himself lying on the ground, still unconscious. "Bill? Bill!" Ralph shouted as he tried to run to himself, tripping twice as he was trying to get used to being "Bill" right now.

When he got there, he turned himself - Bill, he told himself - over and checked the other's pulse and breathing. It was strong but slightly fast and his breathing was normal. He heard thunder and looked up, noticing the incoming storm, then looked back at "Ralph." "Well, partner, I don't know what happened, but we need to get out of the rain so 'we' don't catch pneumonia."

Ralph stooped over and proceeded to gather the other in his arms, hoping that he was strong enough to pick up his real self. He lifted, and found out that Bill was quite a bit stronger than Ralph gave him credit for. Still, he could not get rid of the weird feeling he had that he was literally carrying himself to the car.

Once he got to the car, he laid "Ralph" in the backseat of the car and proceeded to try and revive him. As he slapped his cheeks gently, "Ralph" began to stir and try to open his eyes. "Bill, can you hear me, wake up."

The blonde-haired figure decided it was best to keep his eyes closed, but the expression was a bit confused. "Ralph, come on kid, will you quit trying to pull that voice impression on me again? You still don't sound like me. How about I start trying to sound. …" he paused when he realized he sounded a lot like Ralph. Must be from whatever hit me, he thought dismissively.

"Now Bill, before you say or do anything, I'm not too sure what happened. Came to myself a few minutes ago and realized that we have a small problem." said his voice, but with more of Ralph's inflection. "Now, when you open your eyes, you need to stay lying down."

"Why's that," Bill said, sounding like Ralph but with his own inflection. This is too weird, Bill thought, maybe I'm still out and dreaming. Or this is one of the best practical jokes Ralph's pulled on me.

"So you don't faint when you see what happened," said the other voice, simply. He knew the potential consequences of this reveal, but heard the other man chuckle at the thought.

"Come on kid, we've been through enough scenarios with you and the jammies that nothing comes close to causing me to faint. All right, what's the problem."

"Apparently, you and I have switched places, Bill. Literally."

Bill opened his eyes and looked straight at his own face. Bill was shocked, and glad that the voice insisted he stay lying down. "What the hell is going on here?" Bill said in his odd voice. Still not believing, he sat up and turned to look in the rearview mirror. He saw Ralph's reflection looking back at him. Every facial expression he made matched the one looking back at him. He wasn't dreaming, he realized, they were each other.

"Ralph I don't know how you did it, but we've switched places," said Bill incredulously.

"Bill, I don't know how I did it, it must have been the suit," Ralph said. "Whatever happened must have switched our identities."

Bill got the shivers hearing his voice speak back to him. "Quit talking, you're giving me the heebie-jeebies."

Ralph glared back at him, because he felt the same way. "Lookit, it wasn't my idea to be 'Bill Maxwell-FBI' the agent with a taste for danger and dog biscuits."

"Real cute kid. Let's try to figure this out OK, before the Counselor sees us."

Ralph realized the potential problem with Pam seeing the two of them as the other. "You're right. Let's try to piece together everything up to being knocked out. I remember trying your scenario of running in the desert to build up static electricity to create lightning bolts. Then I tripped on a rock and started flying."

Bill jumped in. "Yeah, and as you were flying, there was a strange lightning bolt, come to think of it, it came out of the blue. It hit you, and you fell to the ground, and I drove over to where you fell to make sure you weren't seriously hurt."

"Well, I don't remember much about the fall itself, that bolt knocked me for a loop, but I felt as though I was the bolt, all full of energy but not the potency," Ralph said. "Anyway, I remember talking to you trying to figure out what happened, then touching your shoulder, then. … Well, nothing until I came to and found out I was now an FBI agent."

Bill grinned, causing his true self to cringe as he saw "Ralph's" reaction. "That's pretty much the way I remember it myself. I think the lightning must have at least partially caused the switch, but I don't think that was all though, given you've been electrified before. Do you remember thinking or saying anything before we blacked out?"

"Well, not really, except telling you that I wish you knew just how I felt wearing the suit. …" Ralph trailed off when he saw the look on his normal face.

Bill nodded. "I had that thought earlier, when you were on a tirade. The suit must have been involved as well. Anyway, that's beside the point kid, now, we're going to have to figure out how to get back to our normal selves."

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"Mrs. Hinkley, you're party is waiting for you," said the head waiter.

Pam turned around and blushed. "Sorry, I'm coming." She followed the gentleman to a table where one of her fellow partners and the witness were sitting. There were also several plainclothes policemen and federal agents around to make sure that they were protected from Sardonyx's hit men. Sardonyx was out on bail, and there had been reports that they were trying to poison the witness to keep him from talking, so they weren't taking any chances.

"Good afternoon, Pam," said Sam. He was a local law enforcement agent, but was pretending to be an attorney as well for Pam and the witness' protection. "This is Fred Chrysoprase, who will be testifying against Sardonyx."

Pam shook Fred's hand and sat down. "So, Fred, I'll get right the point. This case is very important in helping save a lot of lives. Why don't we start from the beginning?"

"Well, about a month ago, I was at a party at a friend's house. He told me about this friend of his who had some real good drugs," said Fred. "Now, I never had tried drugs nor wanted to, and he knew that, but he kept insisting I meet his friends. Well, I followed him to the kitchen, where I saw Sardonyx and another of his friends. And well, he showed me this little baggie with a bluish green substance…." he paused, his voice breaking a bit.

"Take all the time you need," said Pam. "It'll help our case if you tell us everything."

"Sorry," he apologized. "Well, anyway, I told them I wasn't interested, but my friend decided to try it and, well, he took a hit and then suddenly started gasping for breath. He fell to the ground, and stopped breathing, and I tried to revive him. I looked around and yelled for an ambulance, but while there was no one in the kitchen, someone called one."

He took a deep breath and continued. "Don't remember too much, except that I started feeling funny as I was giving him CPR, and then. … Well, I woke up in the hospital. Doctors said that I had been in a coma for about three days, but didn't think there were any lasting effects. My friend. … my friend had died on the scene. The doctors said the coroner reported that all he took was the one hit of sapphire comet. I ended up being affected by the drug when I was giving him artificial respiration. I want this creep to go to jail and rot for a long time."

Pam flinched inwardly, since she didn't know how seriously Fred had been affected. "I know, and we're going to do our best to do that. That's why we need your interview."

As they continued their discussion, a waiter came to take their order. All three placed their order and continued talking.

The waiter brought the order ticket to the chef and left to use the phone. He punched in some numbers. "Let me speak to Sardonyx," the waiter said. "Sardonyx, this is Jeff. Listen, he's spilled everything. No, I can't just knock him off, he's right smack dab in the middle of the restaurant and I know that he's got protection all around him."

"Well, use that poison I gave you," said Sardonyx. When you bring their orders, put the poison in the meal. Won't kill him right away, but it will confuse the doctors as to what's wrong. By the time they figure out, it will be too late. And without a witness, they can't convict."

"Will do boss," said Jeff, and he hung up the phone. "Well, it'll be a few minutes before the meal's ready, but since it's Fred's last meal, might as well be the best one he's ever had," he smirked.

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"Come on kid, we haven't got all day," said Bill with a slight cheer on his, well "Ralph's" voice as he walked. It had been trial and error teaching Bill some of the techniques Ralph knew with the suit, and in the end, Bill trashed his car himself.

"You're telling me," said his now grey-haired companion who was trudging along as fast as his legs would carry him. "At least this is the one time you cannot blame me for trashing your own car. Lookit, can't you at least slow down? I think you have a hyper-extended knee from when you collapsed."

"Sorry, I wasn't the one who decided to change identities," said the blonde figure. Before the real Ralph could retort, the other continued, "It's just. … Whoa."

"What is it Bill," Ralph said. Though he knew his normal self was fit, he wasn't sure if Bill was acclimated to his current metabolism. He was still adapting to Bill's physiology himself, and with some mild difficulty.

"I'm seeing some sort of wavy image with rainbow edges," Bill said. "I think it's a holograph. I'm not too sure because the ones I've seen where you touched my shoulder or the reverse didn't quite look like that to me."

"Sounds like one. Here, let me see," said "Bill" as he touched the other's shoulder. When he saw nothing, he implored, "Bill, you've got to pretty much tell the suit to let me see as well. At least that's how it works with me."

Bill let his mind relax and let the other see the holograph. "I see a waiter, and he's talking on the phone. Wait, I'm hearing something."

They listened in on the conversation. "Mission accomplished, Sardonyx. All we need to do now is wait for the right moment. …" The holograph shifted form and the saw Pam talking to a gentleman before fading.

"Who's Sardonyx, and what's he got to do with the Counselor," asked Bill.

"I read something about him. Sardonyx is one of the leaders of a drug ring," said Ralph. "Pam's law firm was working on the case, but. … You don't think that she was talking to a witness?"

"I think so kid, and we'd better get there soon in order to keep them alive," said Bill. He looked at his true identity, well Ralph right now, and said simply, "Well, I guess it's my turn to fly."

Ralph groaned. He never liked flying to begin with, and he knew this time he was going to be the passenger. "All right, we have no choice if we're going to save them."

"Ralph" picked up "Bill" into a fireman's carry and turned to face the direction they needed to travel. "It's three steps and jump right?" said the blonde-haired figure.

"Yes, just be careful. I don't want us to get hurt, if you know what I mean," said his counterpart.

"Yeah kid, I hear ya. Let's go," Bill said as he took the running steps and jumped. They were flying for about 30 seconds when Bill lost his equilibrium and they both crashed to the ground.

Ralph groaned and turned over to look at his true self. "Bill, remind me to never carry you this way again when flying. It hurts when you crash."

"Deal." he said. "But we're going to have to at least try to fly until we get to the main road, then I, sorry, you since you're acting FBI agent right now, can commandeer a car. Did you bring my clothes?"

"Well, their my clothes, but yes, I have them. Now come on, we need to get to Pam before it's too late. Now turn around and we'll try flying with me riding piggyback. I can do it pretty well, but now we'll have to see how well the gumshoe does it."

"Very funny kid, but you're right. Come on." Ralph got onto the other's back and they took off. They had better luck this time, and got to the road without too much of a wobble. There they commandeered a farmer's truck and they headed toward the restaurant at breakneck pace.


	3. Chapter 3

"Thank you," said Pam as she received her plate of food. The others were served, but they waited until everyone received their plate. Before she was about to start, Fred looked at his plate. "Wait a second, I didn't order mashed potatoes," he said.

"Oh sorry, Fred, I did. He made a mistake and gave me the wrong plate," Pam said as they switched plates.

As they were eating, Sam received a message to call the office. He excused himself, glancing at a fellow officer to make sure he kept an eye on the two as he made the phone call.

"So, Mrs. Hinkley, what do you think of our chances to bring Sardonyx to justice," asked Fred.

"Well, between your testimony and the information we have, it's going to be difficult for him to win," said Pam. "I'm sorry for your loss, Fred. You must have been very close to your friend."

"Yeah, I was, it's just. …" he was interrupted when he heard a gunshot and a glass near Pam shattered. Pam, Fred and others in the restaurant got under the tables as those undercover drew their guns and looked for the sniper.

Jeff was hidden behind one of the closet doors, the barrel barely peeking out. As he pulled back the hammer to take a second shot, he heard a voice that sent shivers down his spine. "I wouldn't do that again pal, unless you want to take a short trip into the sky."

Jeff turned around, but saw no one. To his shock, a man dressed in a funny red outfit with a cape blinked into existence. He took a shot at the blonde-haired man, who covered his head with his arms and deflected the bullet. Before he could take another shot, the other man grabbed the gun, crushed it in his bare hands and picked Jeff up by the scruff of the collar. Jeff's feet barely touched the ground.

"Hey Ralph, I got him," said Bill. "And, I crushed his gun. That was actually fun."

"Great," said Ralph, entering the closet. He decided to play the FBI agent role full force. "Look here, mister, we're going to make this easy for you. Either you tell us what you were doing firing a gun on the restaurant, or my friend here will take you on a little trip."

"I'm not saying anything, pal, neither to you or your friend in longjohns here," said Jeff.

The man in red growled and picked the man up further, causing Jeff to gently hit his head on a shelf. Jeff's eyes rolled back into his head and he sagged. Bill, surprised, lowered the man to the ground, and gave Ralph a funny look. "What, I didn't do anything to scare him that much. Some henchmen, Sardonyx's men must really be chickens inside."

Ralph, after checking the criminal's pulse and confirming he was all right, sighed. "Bill, you need to watch your strength wearing the suit. You must have knocked him unconscious when you picked him up higher and his head hit the shelf. In the suit, it only takes a tap."

Before Bill could respond, he heard a voice near the door. "Uh, look kid, you're going to have to pretend to be me. I scoped out a couple of my own guys in the crowd, so you'll have to be careful in the way you talk."

"Ralph" turned invisible while the real Ralph gathered his thoughts just as the door opened. He grimaced slightly as he saw Bill's boss, Carlisle join the other man in the room. "Maxwell, what are you doing here?" he asked incrediously.

Ralph prayed that he would be believable as "Bill" but didn't let it show on his face. "Well, uh sir, I was taking a friend to lunch next door when we heard gunfire. I snuck in and saw a gun barrel peek out of the closet. I barged in and wrestled the gun from him, and during the fight, he tripped and knocked himself out."

"You know, I don't know how you do it Maxwell," he said with a slight hint of grumbling. "We didn't tell you about the case because it involves one of your friends, but you still manage to help them out."

"Well, goes to show you how valuable I am," said "Bill" with the best cheesy grin he could muster.

Carlisle didn't say a word about his colleague's reaction. "Right, well, Mrs. Hinkley and the witness are all right, and we're going to take the witness to a safe house and this fellow to the agency for interrogation, so dismissed."

"You go and do that, and I'll clean up here," "Bill" said. After Carlisle and the others left, "Ralph" blinked back into view. He glanced around and found an extra set of waiter's clothing, and put them on. "Why didn't you tell me everything about this case," he asked Ralph.

"Bill, I couldn't go into details because Pam told me not to tell you," said Ralph. "Pam told me it was a big case, but not what it was so I wouldn't worry. But after listening to the news, doing some research and all this, now I've got good reason to."

"No kidding. Well, since the witness is heading back to a safe house, do you think we should tell the Counselor what happened?"

"Well, not here, but we could persuade here to go outside to get some fresh air," said Ralph.

The two left the closet and headed toward where Pam was standing. She had just finished giving her statement about the gunfire to the police, and saw the others. "Bill, Ralph it's so good to see you. How. …" she stopped when "Ralph" pulled away from her. "What's going on?"

Bill just glanced at her and tried his best to sound like "Ralph." "Um Pam, can you come outside for a moment, we've got to talk to you," he said.

"Sure hun, whatever you say. Must be important for you to 'dress up'" she said, looking at Ralph's attire. The three headed out, not knowing how quickly things were going to go from bad to worse.

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"Hey boss, Jeff was captured by an FBI agent," said another of Sardonyx's henchmen.

"What, I thought he wasn't taking chances. Anyway, did complete his mission?"

"Yeah, he did. I saw him put the poison in the mashed potatoes. I helped clean up the table after the gunfight. The plates were pretty much cleared, and the potatoes had been mostly eaten."

"Good. Should only be a few more minutes before he loses consciousness and then, in 12 hours, we will be home free since the lone witness will be dead," said Sardonyx. He was looking forward to that time, because without a witness, the judge will have no choice but to exonerate him, and he could take his "wares" to another country. It was only a matter of time, he mused.

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As the three headed out onto the outdoor seating, Pam felt a little odd, as thought the ground was uneven. "Must be an aftereffect from the gunfight," she thought dismissively. "Funny, you'd think with all the scenarios Bill's put me through, I'd be used to it by now."

She turned to face her husband and friend. "All right, you two, I think I know how you found out about this shootout, but what's going on? I mean, Ralph, you've never refused one of my kisses."

To her surprise, instead of "Ralph" answering, "Bill" responded. "Well, um, Counselor, Ralph's not himself. In fact, I'm not quite myself either."

Pam's face softened when she heard him stumble over his words. It was unlike Bill to be that hesitant to tell her anything, he was too blunt. "OK, I see there's more to this than the normal holographs bit. Seriously, what's going on?"

"Bill" continued. "Well, this is going to be hard to explain. Earlier today we were trying out a scenario to create static electricity for electric bolts. During the course of events, there was a lightning bolt and a crash landing. …"

"Ralph" picked up, knowing that the real Ralph was just trying to make it easier on Pam. "Look, it's like this, there was an accident and both of us were knocked out. Well, we came to and were fine except for one thing."

Pam was getting slightly annoyed. "What happened? Did the lightning turn you into a magnet again Ralph?"

"Bill" shook his head. "No Pam, it didn't. It did something else to us."

Pam's head swum when she heard "Bill" call her Pam. He normally didn't, even when she married Ralph. "Bill, you never call me that, but Ralph does. …" she looked at the blonde haired man, figuring out the problem. He nodded.

"Well, Counselor, you see, Ralph and me, we switched places," said "Ralph."

Pam looked at the two and tried to say something, but her knees buckled and she swayed. Bill saw her pale and he tried to steady her. "Counselor, are you all right?"'

"Fine, I just got a little. …" Her voice trailed off as she fell over in a faint. "Ralph" caught her in his arms and lowered her to the ground.

"Counselor? Ralph, I think she's fainted. We must have had one too many suit scenarios for her."

Ralph stooped next to Pam and tried to wake her up, but couldn't. He became increasingly concerned when Pam's face felt cold and clammy. "Pam? Pam?" he checked her pulse. "Bill, it's worse than a faint, call an ambulance."


	4. Chapter 4

At the hospital, Ralph and Bill sat in the waiting room hoping to hear from the doctor again. The last time he spoke to them was to say Pam was in stable condition but had worsened slightly .

"Come on kid, you know she's at least alive. No news is good news," said Bill.

Ralph stood up and walked around. "I know, it's just, what happened? It's been two hours. I mean, Pam didn't appear to be injured, but here she is in the hospital unconscious and we don't know why."

Before Bill could say anything, the doctor came in. Ralph held back, knowing the doctor wouldn't release information to him in his current appearance. Bill, recognizing this, turned to the doctor and pretended to be "Ralph." "How is she doctor," he asked.

"Right now, she's stable, but we're not too sure what's causing this," the doctor responded. "There are no contusions, no signs of a concussion or other normal signs of illness. We're still waiting for the toxicology results from the blood sample, and we'll keep you posted on her condition."

"Thank you doc," said "Ralph." Once the doctor left, he turned to the other man. "Ralph, I know you too well to know that you are still hiding information from me. Can you for once fill me in on the whole enchilada, since Carlisle obviously failed to," he said.

Ralph sighed, knowing this time, he had to say everything. "All right, when I heard Pam was going to be working on a huge case and I watched the news about the drug ring, I decided to try and do some research to figure out the details, but only for her safety. Anyway, this drug ring case is bigger than what even I thought. The person on trial, a Michael Sardonyx, is the head of the ring."

"Yeah, heard about him kid," said Bill. "He's the one who created sapphire comets, which's pretty much addictive at the start, if it doesn't kill you that first time."

"That's him. He was also a well-known pharmacist and doctor before a malpractice suit led to his 'change of heart.' Anyway, a couple of months ago, he was at a party where he offered someone a hit of the drug. Well, the person took the hit, immediately collapsed and stopped breathing. Another person also was affected when his body absorbed some of the drug while giving the other CPR. However, he survived and is right now the key witness in the case. Of course, Sardonyx doesn't want him to testify, because without the testimony, the judge will have no choice but to acquit and he'd go free."

"I get it, and since the others were going to watch him like a hawk even in the restaurant, they were going to have to kill him in a discreet manner. But why go gung-ho and start shooting? Especially in a room full of agents and officers," said Bill.

Ralph started putting it together and was horrified at the thought. "Bill, I think you're right about the gunfire, but I don't think that was the original plan. He must have decided to use the shooting as a backup. The guy we caught must have had poison on his person and tried to kill the witness that way. But instead of him, got Pam."

Just then, the doctor came in. Bill reassumed his guise as "Ralph." Before he could say anything, the doctor responded. "I just got the lab reports. Your wife has been poisoned, but we've never seen this type of poison. We're doing everything we can, but right now, she's still very ill. We'll keep you updated."

As he left, Bill and Ralph looked at each other. "Well, kid, I think it's time we went and talked to our 'Sleeping Beauty' at the agency," he said.

Ralph nodded. "You're right, Bill. For once, I think I'm going to like being the big, bad FBI agent. But I'll still need your and the suit's help."

Bill smiled. "Kid, it'll be a pleasure."

"I bet, just don't get gung-ho yourself trying new things in the jammies. Remember, you and I need to return to our normal selves, and I'd rather not have to nurse a concussion."

----------------------------------------

At the agency, "Bill" faced a now recovered Jeff. "Come on, spill it, what did you actually do in the restaurant?"

"I did nothing. Come on, you ain't got nothing on me. Besides, all I have to do is tell your boss that you travel with a guy who likes dressing up as Captain Longjohns."

Ralph was finding it harder to stay in Bill's character, but he continued. "Listen, pal, it won't matter if you tried, because all they'll do is put you in a straightjacket and into the rubber room. Believe me, I've seen quite a few end up that way. Now, let me reintroduce you to a friend of ours." Just then, "Ralph" reappeared.

"What, you again," sputtered Jeff.

Bill didn't even try to keep in Ralph's demeanor, didn't need to either. "That's right pal, my partner and I want to know what you poisoned the Counselor with."

"What the dame? We was after the guy."

"That's right pal, you got her instead, and believe you me, if she dies, your life will be more than a simple case of confusion," said Ralph, nearly dropping his agent guise. "So, if you want to get off a bit lightly, you'd better spill everything and now."

"All right, I did put the poison in the mashed potatoes. The gunfight was just a way to be certain that we were successful if Fred didn't eat the potatoes."

"Well, what was the poison," said the man in red.

"Don't know exactly, but it's one of Sardonyx's many creations. I overheard him talking, and from what he said, after taking it, the person blacks out after a half an hour, and usually lapses into a coma within three. Then, 12 hours later, tops, the person dies. Now, I heard about an antidote, but before you ask, I don't have it."

Ralph was stunned. "Well, do you even know if there is one? And I'd answer quickly if I was you."

"Yeah, I do know there's one, he showed me just in case something happened and I was poisoned. It's at his current 'home.' Now, I won't say anything else without a lawyer."

"Bill" glanced at "Ralph" and nodded. The blonde-haired figure turned invisible. "Well, thank you for your time, and remember, you didn't see the man in the funny red suit, that is, unless you want to go to the rubber room for a long time."

"Bill" turned and left, telling the agents that he was finished. He then headed out of the office and found the other man. "So, were you able to snag anything our friend had that you can get a holograph from," Ralph asked.

"I was able to get the poison bottle from the exhibit storage. I guess I hold on to it and concentrate, right?" said Bill.

"Yeah, you also need to relax, and you should be able to get a holograph of the location. If all else, look into the aviators and you should be able to see it."

Bill relaxed and let his mind open. Sure enough, he got an image off the aviators "Bill" was wearing. Ralph again touched the suit so he could see the image as well. "I've got something, I think it's the location of the hideout," said Bill.

"Yeah, I see it Bill. But, Sardonyx's there too, so we'll have to be careful."

"Right, come on, let's go get that creep." The two headed toward the pickup when Ralph turned to Bill. "You know, it'd be better if you go and fly to the location."

Bill groaned. "You sure pal? I mean, I could crash and get hurt."

"I'm willing to take that chance if it means saving Pam's life. Use the communicator to give me directions, and I'll be there shortly."

Bill nodded and turned to look at the skies. He took three steps and started flying, albeit a bit wobbly. The real Ralph looked into the skies and smiled. "Well, it only took him a couple of tries, but I think he did pretty well." He got into the pickup and began following "himself" to the location.

-------------------------------------

Sardonyx was not happy with his henchman's report. "What do you mean Fred's still alive," he shouted.

"Sorry, boss, we saw him and an officer head to a safe house, and we couldn't follow. But, a few minutes later we saw an ambulance drive up and take the attorney to the hospital. I think she ended up taking the poison."

"Just as good," said Sardonyx. "With her in the hospital, they cannot go to trial, and when Fred hears that his counselor was poisoned, he'll chicken out on testifying. All the better for us. Good work." He hung up the phone and looked at his watch. It would only be a little while longer before she worsened and died. Then he'd be home free to deal more of his special drug to those willing to experiment with freedom, albeit sometimes the fatalistic kind.

----------------------------------

"Whoa……" screamed "Ralph" as he flew. He was trying to talk to the real Ralph through the communicator, but he just barely missed hitting a billboard. "I'll never kid him about being knocked out by one the first time he flew again," he mused.

"Bill, I'm not reading you. Where are you," said his voice over the communicator.

"Sorry, kid, close call. We're almost there. You'll see a brick mansion with white gingerbread trim on it. There are a few henchmen at the gate, but that's it. If I can manage to sneak in, I'll have them sawing logs before they know what hit them."

"OK, just be careful and if you think you're going to crash into something, protect that head."

"Sure kid," Bill said and tucked the communicator into the sleeve of the suit. Just then, he saw a flock of birds coming toward him. He gasped, covered his head with his arms, and crashed. Standing up, Bill collected his thoughts and turned invisible. He made short work of the three henchmen at the gate, and all three were out like a light. Just then, Bill's car pulled near the driveway and "Bill" got out.

"Well, I never thought I'd say it, but you got it right this time, Bill, good work."

"Can we can it with the compliments right now Ralph, it makes my eyes water. Now, let's get inside and tackle Sardonyx."

The duo headed toward the building, unaware that there was a fourth henchman keeping an eye on them. "Sardonyx, you're not going to believe this, but there's a G-Man and a guy wearing a clown outfit inside the perimeter."

"Well, bring them in and we'll make them comfortable," Sardonyx said with slightly sinister glee.

The man went down to ground level and reached Bill and Ralph. He pointed the rifle at them. "OK, you two, don't know how you got here, but you're coming to meet Sardonyx."

Bill, knowing the suit would protect him, started toward the man, but stopped when he heard a second gun click. He turned to see that someone else had a gun trained on Ralph's - his - head. He glanced at the grey-headed man and the two gave a knowing look. They put their hands up and headed toward Sardonyx's home with an escort.

-------------------------------------

The doctor at the hospital checked Pam's vitals again and frowned. In the past hour, her condition had worsened. He had tried everything they knew to help remove the poison, but she had still not regained consciousness.

"Nurse, I want you to check on Mrs. Hinkley again in an hour. If her condition does not improve, I'm going to need to speak with Mr. Hinkley about some treatments we might try."

The nurse nodded and left, and the doctor sighed. He knew that if Mrs. Hinkley's condition did not improve soon, it might be too late to save her life.


	5. Chapter 5

"Welcome to my humble abode, gentleman," said Sardonyx with a slight smirk on his face. Bill and Ralph lowered their hands and looked at their current surroundings. It had all the comforts of home, that is if your home was set in the Middle Ages. There was a suit of armor, a shield and other sorts of weaponry in addition to brown leather furnishings.

Ralph, realizing he'd probably be more believable in showing force in his current guise, decided to not mince words. "All right, Sardonyx, we know that you were the one trying to poison the lone witness in your case," he said as "Bill." "And we know you have an antidote, so why don't you make this easier on yourself and just give it to us?"

"My dear fellow, why would I do that?" Sardonyx mocked. "Even though I wasn't able to get rid of that punk, having the counselor die will be just as good. They don't have enough time to get a new attorney, and the judge will have no choice but to declare a mistrial. And, while they try to get a new attorney, I'll be gone before they know it."

Growling slightly, Ralph started forward, only to receive a punch to the jaw from Sardonyx's henchman. He fell to the ground, but despite a slight cut on his lip, he was otherwise all right. "Good thing Bill doesn't have a glass jaw," he mused, rubbing his jaw. "But, I hope he remembers that I do."

Bill saw Ralph go down and winced. He knew that would sting when he was back to his normal self. He turned back to Sardonyx. "Listen, mister, he's right. The prosecution's got a great case on you as is and that witness will still want to testify. If you give us the antidote, we'll make sure that they don't add kidnapping and assault to your charges."

"What makes you think that two measily charges will get me off the hook," Sardonyx said. "Besides, I can get rid of you two quickly. Andrew, you know what to bring me."

As Andrew left, Sardonyx pulled out a bottle containing a clear liquid. "Now, before you go on the trip of your lives, I'll let you in on a secret. The poison itself is a special concoction of mine, something I learned in pharmacy school. This is the only antidote to the poison your friend took. But, that won't matter now since the two of you will be going on the trip of your lifetime."

Andrew came back with a bag of a bluish green substance, which the two recognized as sapphire comets. He gave it to Sardonyx and pulled out his gun, aiming it at Bill and Ralph.

Sardonyx poured out a measure of the drug onto a piece of paper. "Now, you have a choice. Either you can take this, or we'll just shoot you on the spot. I'd much prefer that you take the drug though, because it'll be easier to pass off your deaths as suicides than homicides," he sneered.

Bill turned to Ralph. He knew that "Bill" would not be able to survive if he took the drug, but he wasn't sure about his own scenario. Ralph looked at Bill, as though he knew what the other was thinking, and nodded. He knew that there was a risk with what Bill was thinking of doing. "All right, since we have no choice," said Bill, "but, let me go first. And, let the old man decide for himself."

Sardonyx nodded. "A reasonable final request. All right, go ahead." Bill took a look at the drug and glanced at Ralph one final time, just in case this didn't work. He picked up the paper containing the drug, then dropped it on the floor and turned invisible.

"What the hell?" shouted Sardonyx and Andrew. Ralph, in the confusion, ran and hid behind a couch. "Get them," shouted Sardonyx.

Behind the couch, Ralph searched through Bill's jacket and found a revolver. "Haven't had much use for this, but since I'm not wearing the suit, anything's better than nothing," he mused. He pulled back the hammer and aimed a shot toward the Sardonyx and his men. As the gunshot rang out, they dove for cover as well and started shooting.

"Bill, come on, will you pop back in," shouted Ralph from behind the couch. He prayed that Bill just touching the paper that the drug was on didn't kill him.

No sooner did Ralph think that when his true self popped back in right behind Sardonyx and his henchman. They turned around, only to receive a punch to the jaw each. They fell to the ground, out cold. "Ralph" then proceeded to riffle through Sardonyx's pockets and procured the vial of antidote. The real Ralph in turn handcuffed the others and was calling the police to have them pick up Sardonyx and his men.

"The police are on their way. Did you get it Bill," asked Ralph as he finished tying up Sardonyx and his henchman.

"Yeah, kid, this is it, but just to make sure, I'll have Mr. Onyxsard tell us when he comes to."

"Sardonyx, Bill. You have his name reversed," said Ralph.

"Quit being an egghead and get a move on. We need to get this to the Counselor." Just then, Sardonyx woke up. Bill decided to have a little bit more fun at Sardonyx's expense while he got the other to confirm the antidote. "Well, welcome back Sardonyx. Now, I want you to confirm for me a little fact. Is this really the antidote?"

Sardonyx just laughed. "Now, I might have been telling the truth, I might not have," he said. "And, as long as I know and you don't, your friend will only get worse and die."

Bill turned to Ralph and winked. Ralph nodded in response with a slight twinkle in his eye. The blonde-haired man turned and faced Sardonyx again. He was going to like this. "All right, how about we go flying?"

"What, not only do you think I'll tell you the truth, you think you can fly? Come on I. …" his taunting came to a halt and turned to shouts of terror as the man in the funny longjohns picked him up into a fireman's carry and flew him to the top of the mansion. As Bill landed on the second floor, he dangled Sardonyx over the railing. "What did you say?" Bill retorted.

"Nothing, nothing," said the other man in fear. "I'll confess, that's the right antidote. Now, will you get me down from here before I pass out?"

"Sure, thanks for your help," Bill said with a smile, almost like his own. He flew the other man back down to the ground and when he landed, realized that Sardonyx had indeed passed out again. Bill lowered Sardonyx to the floor and looked at Ralph, who in turn gave him a curious look. "No, I didn't lay a hand on him," said Bill. "I think he just fainted from fright."

Ralph just smiled. "Didn't think so, but maybe your comment about these guys being chicken inside might be true. Come on, let's go before the police arrive. We don't have much time as is."

As they hurried out to the car, Bill started feeling uneasy, almost as though there was a storm coming. But there were no clouds in the sky, unlike the last time. "You know, Ralph, there have been times I wished I had the jammies instead of you, but after today, I think I'd much rather have you wear them."

"Yeah, and I've learned not to ever quarrel with you to the point of throwing punches. I didn't know how strong you were until I had to pick myself up to get us both out of the rain," said Ralph.

As they were talking, the suit began to glow an eerie glow, almost the same grayish purple colors as before. Ralph turned to look at his true self, and Bill looked at the other in return. "What's going on," said Ralph as he reached to touch the suit.

"Don't know kid, but you'd better not touch it, you know what. …" His words were cut off when both their hands touched.

They felt another, though not quite as powerful shock as before. Both men stumbled backwards and Bill fell to his knees, dazed head bowed. He looked up to see a man with curly blonde hair stare back down at him. "Kid, you OK," said Bill.

"Yeah, think so. Don't know how we did it partner, I think we're back to normal, but there was no lightning this time," Ralph said. "Anyway, we don't have time to figure out how we got back to our normal selves, we need to get this antidote to Pam. There isn't much time left."


	6. Chapter 6

At the hospital, after Bill assured him that he captured the man who made the antidote and that this was the correct one, the doctor administered the antidote to Pam. After about an hour or so, Pam's vitals improved and eventually were strong and stable.

Ralph was sitting in a chair next to Pam's bed, asleep, his head resting on the bed next to her hand. He woke up when he felt Pam's hand reach up and stroke his hair. "Hey honey, how do you feel," asked Ralph.

Pam pulled her hand back, remembering the day's events, and blushed slightly. "Fine, tired though. But, you don't have to go on with that ruse, Bill. I mean you and Ralph will find a way to get back to normal, and until then, I'll remember who's who."

Ralph grinned a slight smile. "You don't have to worry. Bill and I. …" just then Bill opened the door, carrying two cups of coffee. He smiled when he saw that Pam was awake.

"Hey Counselor, great to see your bright and shiny gray eyes. How are you feeling?"

"Come on Ralph, quit playing around. I know the two of you are trying to make the most of a bizzare situation, but still, this is silly or I'm still delirious."

"No Counselor, it's not that. Ralphie and me are back to our normal. …"

"If slightly eccentric …." Ralph interrupted. Bill gave him a funny look.

"All right, kid, if slightly eccentric, selves. There was something with the suit that switched the two of us back. Still haven't figure it out, since there was no lightning for miles that second time. Anyway, I brought some coffee for us."

Pam turned to Ralph and gave him a funny look. When Ralph returned it with a look that only they knew, she realized he and Bill were speaking the truth. "Well, since you're both back, what happened to Sardonyx?"

"Well, we captured him and his men, and we're adding a couple of more charges to his case," said Bill.

"And, with both your and the other witness' testimonies, he'll go to jail for a long time. Before you ask, Bill talked to the judge. They rescheduled the case to where you could recover and testify at top health," Ralph finished.

"After everything I've been through and the way I feel now, I'm looking forward to the court date. Now, why don't you two tell me everything about being the other," she said, smiling.

"Uh, Counselor, there's not much to say, except that we learned to respect the other in regard to the jammies and agent scenarios," stammered Bill.

"You know, I hated being an FBI agent, but it was worth it if Bill learned it's not easy to wear the funny longjohns, and I don't mean just because of the attire," Ralph said. "Though I think he should have tried to land on his feet instead of the way he did. I'm still having fun sitting down at times, my tailbone's so sore."

"Cute kid, how about how I feel with a hyper-extended knee, not to mention a few bumps and bruises from you deciding to dive over the couch to escape the gunfire. ..."

"Now lookit, it was either that or you turn into Swiss cheese, Uncle Bill," said Ralph. When Bill couldn't think of a retort, Ralph smiled. "Besides, you wanted to be at top health, well mostly, to celebrate Pam's birthday."

"Oh Ralph, I don't really want to celebrate it in the hospital," said Pam. "Besides, it's past my birthday."

"What do you mean," said Ralph with a smile. "After Sardonyx's henchman poisoned you, I didn't know if I was going to see those bright eyes again. Well, now that you're back, I can honestly say you have two birthdays, your own and today. So, happy second birthday," he said, producing a small package.

Pam opened it up and found inside a gold necklace with a single pink colored pearl pendant. "Honey, this is lovely, thank you," and the two kissed.

Bill blushed, but quickly regained his composure. "Come on, will you can it with that mushy stuff? The Counselor needs to rest and get back to normal."

Pam turned to Ralph and both smiled. "Yeah, Bill, it might be mushy. ..." said Ralph. "But at least it's not electric."

Bill stammered, quieting down. When he saw Ralph and Pam smile at him, he realized that it was just a joke, and chuckled. The three kidded with each other and told stories about Bill and Ralph switching places. Pam eventually dozed off, and the other two left. "You know kid, you and the Counselor make a good team," said Bill.

"Yeah, and so do we," Ralph said. "Though I hope to never be in your shoes again."

"Why's that kid? Too much adventure even for you?"

"No, because you need to get new shoes. You must have traveled many miles in those, I know that I have," said Ralph with a slight smile. He turned to head toward the stationwagon, leaving Bill to wonder what Ralph might have meant by that statement.


End file.
